


I hate what you make me do

by ShadowFairy



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Broken Meanie, M/M, Mention of Kwon Soonyoung, Mention of Wen Junhui, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 00:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15740004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowFairy/pseuds/ShadowFairy
Summary: The things are not the same on their relationship and Wonwoo is scared on how things might turn out.





	I hate what you make me do

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this enormous writer's block so I did what I did in the past. I choose a song and based my ideas on it. On what the song said and the feel on it, so I did it, so if you want you can put DODODO by Jinsil and Tablo on repeat.
> 
> Hope you like this story.

Love is a two side coin. Sweet or Bitter. A taste that starts sweet and then it becomes bitter. Wonwoo expected the sweet taste on his tongue last forever. He didn't expect to feel burdened by the feeling he held dearingly on his chest. It was unexpected, as sudden change on his tongue, yet it was a known taste. It was a memory carved in his mind but different than he remembered the sour taste burning his tongue, followed by the sweetness like a pineapple. As if it had been always a sour lemon, the taste penetrated his tongue and he never feel it foreign as if the sweetness was only covering the real taste, the sour lemon that was his relationship. A heavy weight over his shoulders.

He was a scared cat. Scared of himself and his own feelings but he was not running away from the sudden change of heart. He didn’t want to escape from the reality if his own feelings. Wonwoo was sure he was about to overcome that hardship, He alongside his boyfriend. _Things doesn’t always go as planned_ , Wonwoo thought as he was confronted by his boyfriend. The taste on their tongues was leaving a sour taste, fading into nothing as if they never poured their hearts into their relationship. As if they were never a pair.

They became a two sided coin. Not facing each other’s faces but turning their backs at each other.

Wonwoo was still standing even when the heavy feeling over his shoulders was overcoming every bit of strength he has left on his body. Mingyu, on the other hand left the weight make him fall. Pushing him into the ground with no air left on his lungs. He couldn't handle it anymore. The sadness on Wonwoo’s heart was overcome by another powerful emotion, burying any other deep inside his heart as if he never had felt anything else but anger.

Was he never loved the same way he had love Mingyu since the beginning?

Wonwoo was fighthingback, he was trying to understand what went wrong, what made them fall apart. A denial. He wanted to love him because loving Mingyu felt easy at the beginning. It was easy to love his antics, that clumsy tall puppy, forgetting how tall he was, hitting his head on everything, tripping with his own long legs falling in love with the sound of his voice and his laugh, and the way he said “I love you” _t_ o him.

It was easy to love a silly person, but maybe it was not easy to love Wonwoo.

Perhaps, Mingyu was tired to pour his heart into him. As if Wonwoo wasn't clear as the blue sky when he confessed to him. As if Wonwoo never blushed whenever Mingyu claimed to love him. Maybe it was hard to love that clear sky and he stopped to fight back, accepting the sour taste and letting their kisses become nothing but ashes. The ashes of their burning love.

As if the flames were nothing but the beginning of the end.

There were no passion nor love. Not anymore.

Wonwoo wanted the passion back and Mingyu had resigned to feel it. There was nothing and that was the end of everything. There was a sparkle jumping forth and back on that rainy hours and Mingyu just stomped on it to extinguish it for good. He was tired of trying. Tired of pushing himself into Wonwoo´s arms.

The warmness that made them stay awake at night just staring at each other without saying nor doing anything disappeared, leaving nothing but the coldness of their backs and the cold exhalation of their “love you” that helf nothing but the vanity of their empty hearts.

Wonwoo pushed himself into a kiss, Mingyu answered the kiss but the sparkling feeling was gone. It was dry but it led to the same place on their beds where they emptily loved each other and kissed having sex to cry at it. At how used they were to it but there was nothing left , not even the emotion of enjoying a fine night of sex, not even when the stars shone over their heads. It was a romantic night to love each other and Mingyu was fading, Mingyu was ready to love each other and Mingyu was fading, Mingyu was ready to leave.

Wonwoo was not.

No matter how empty he felt, Wonwoo was not ready to let everything slip from his fingers. He fought back but the water always found his way down, no matter how fast he was to take it and drink from it. His hands were empty and dry.

There was nothing left for him.

Everything became a burden. His feelings or the lack of them were weighthing his heart down.

He didn’t want to let go. It was a selfish thought. He fought back, strongly to not let go even when he knew he wasn’t happy and not even Mingyu was happy anymore. He wasn’t seeking for happiness, he was fighting to keep what he knew. The unknown scared him. It frightened him.

Mingyu took him out his comfort zone and he became his comfort zone.

And Wonwoo was out again into the unknown of the world.

“Love change at the end,” Junhui said when the other broke up with his boyfriendthe words haven’t scared him but the way he had been so calm about it.

Perhaps it was true as a water stream, it changes with time, with the weather and the external variables. Was love that scary? The uncertainty of the outcomes were scary. How love can last forever? How he can change that sour taste of his tongue? How he can Mingyu love him forever?

Maybe he could not. Maybe it was how things should be.

Maybe…

It can not be the end.

It had been peaceful. He remembered the tears Soonyoung had shed at every fight. An uncontrollable fight. Every conversation, every discussion led them into a fight. They loved and hated each other, until they said their goodbyes. Was that more sad than the silent goodbyes he was dancing with Mingyu? It was not a competition but Wonwoo hadn’t shed a single tear as if he expected to happen. Every beginning has an end.

An end wasn’t entirely bad, it led to another beginning.

Even when Wonwoo saw it before, how relationships ended he still denied his were about to end. Not even when Mingyu asked him to break up. Wonwoo wanted to cry but the tears never rolled down his cheeks, not even when he pleaded Mingyu to stay. It was burdensome, kneel and plead when you know your heart is not there anymore but Wonwoo didn’t want to leave Mingyu, a place he got used to be. His love became an excuse. He wasn’t loving him anymore but he kept claiming it. He repeated over and over that he loved Mingyu and he would repeat it even if his lips bleed.

Mingyu looked at him, directly to the eyes and he couldn’t find anything. No happiness and no joy, not even sadness. Wonwoo was empty or at least he seemed empty. Mingyu was used to see his eyes sparkle, there was something hiding on it, either joy or simple mischief. Mischiefs that always made them laugh until their stomachs were in pain. Was Wonwoo’s emptiness because of him? Mingyu was filled with everything, including fears and guilt. But Mingyu was everything but guilty, and less about not feeling the same as he felt before. He felt guilty from not loving Wonwoo anymore and more about his feelings towards someone else. That passion and need he had felt for Wonwoo fading away, fading away more and more when he placed his hands over Wonwoo’s body.

Everything seemed like a dream. The fragility of the boy down his body. The way he seemed about to break but at the same he was the strongest person he knew. Wonwoo, in Mingyu’s eyes was strong willed person, always ready to give his all for what he loved.. And what he desired. Yet, Wonwoo was sensitive in his very own way and a very shy being. Mingyu still remembered the boy he fell in love with, a very different person than the man he was facing on that very moment. Wonwoo wasn’t as shy as before but he was still quiet, staring him over the book he was reading with a half smile. Not mocking but daring. _How long are you gonna take to kiss me?_ His smile said and Mingyu was a teasing boy, loving to watch his boyfriend blush. _Longer,_ his smirk answered the unsaid question and Wonwoo looked back into his book, still smiling as Mingyu kept himself busy with another task. Now, the smiles seemed like an oasis, he felt it were there but it was his imagination, dried from all sort of happiness as Wonwoo stared at him.

Mingyu felt like he got too used to being with Wonwoo, it wasn’t fun anymore, but the feel inside his chest was quite different from what he had felt before, when he broke up with other partners. It felt like he had loved deeply, almost getting into his bones and now, the emptiness was killing him but he had not been the only one. He felt it within Wonwoo and, perhaps that was the sign they needed to stop and end everything. Even when Mingyu was sure his heart wasn’t beating at the same pace as Wonwoo’s and as he noticed the older was feeling the same (or better said, not feeling anything), he also noticed how Wonwoo wasn’t letting go. Wonwoo clung on him, not letting him breath, suffocating him. Making him want to run away.

And Mingyu ran away.

Mingyu found comfort in someone else. Wonwoo had been an attached kind of person, clinging on Mingyu, not in a literal kind of way but burdening him more than he should have and as they grew and their relationship it became too heavy for Mingyu to keep shouldering it and to keep Wonwoo still leaning on him.

This new person was a whole new experience for Mingyu. It was someone that not only relied on him but some he could rely on. He was as different as Wonwoo had been, even more different to him and there wasn’t a feeling of him needing to complete the other as he felt with Wonwoo. It was a similar feeling yet different. Mingyu wasn’t completing the other but complementing his flaws and he felt that it was meant to be.

Their fears became a reality when they stood in front of each other, looking at the other, not finding anything but what once was. Not finding the love but the person they once loved and even when they didn’t want it, the fact hurt them. Silent breaking them apart more and more as the seconds passed, consuming them and the little flame that kept against every odd, trying to light a fire and burn a forest.

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu said as he opened the door, he wanted to start a talk but he didn’t wanted to start it as he always did because if he did he would be again in the bed having sex with Wonwoo as the older alway threw himself into him.

Wonwoo looked at him as he got inside their shared apartment, not saying anything, not even questioning Mingyu’s words.

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu pleaded softly, “just listen to me.”

“You can sit,” Wonwoo said, turning to see Mingyu, “we can talk over a coffee,” he smiled and Mingyu did as he was told, sitting on the couch, staring at the coffee table. Thinking on the things he wanted to say but not finding the right words for it. How could not hurt him when he knew no matter what Wonwoo would be hurt as much as he was hurting at that moment.

Mingyu stood up and followed Wonwoo to the kitchen, the older was standing in front of the counter, staring at the empty cups.

“Does this make you remember things?” Wonwoo asked as he took the coffee pot and started to fill the cups.

“I remember the first time I was here,” Mingyu said softly. “You took almost an hour to make a coffee cup.” The younger man smiled ad the memory of a shy Wonwoo, trembling and jumping in fear when he heard Mingyu getting into the kitchen. “We shared our first kiss here.”

“Over a coffee cup,” Wonwoo finished, chuckling at the sound of his voice. He turned and handed him the cup to Mingyu. The boy looked at it before he took it.

“I love you,” Mingyu said, looking at the cup. “I still love you, not in the way I did but I still care about you.” He moved to get closer to Wonwoo but the older stepped away and Mingyu didn’t try to step closer. “Deeply and honestly, I do love you.”

“I love you,” Wonwoo said and he took a sip from his cup. “I don’t want everything to end because you’re the most important thing in my life.”

“But you know it’s not the same anymore,” Mingyu said. “I love you but our relationship is dying, we’re withering with it.”

“I don’t want to let go, we can make things to work… Together.”

“Not anymore,” Mingyu said softly.

“I love you,” Wonwoo said, moving closer to Mingyu. “You have been so important in my life, I don’t want you to let go.”

“But you must,” Mingyu said softly and he placed the cup against his lips but he didn’t sip from the cup. “I feel caged Wonwoo, we’re not good for each other, we learned so much from each other but is over now. We need a little change.” Mingyu pushed the cup closer to his lips, smelling the coffee, not as good as the one he used to make but still good. Wonwoo had learned it from him. He drank it, it wasn’t too hot but it wasn’t cold. It was warm as he liked it.

“Don’t worry,” Wonwoo said softly and got closer, tip toeing to caress Mingyu’s cheek and leaning forward to kiss him. He get the soft smell of coffee from both of their mugs and from Mingyu’s lips. Dark and bitter as Mingyu liked it. Wonwoo stepped back, two, three steps and he smiled. “You won’t feel caged anymore.” He turned around and walked away. The kitchen door was closed and he pushed it open. “You won’t feel anything at all.”

The door closed behind Wonwoo, the older didn’t even tried to look back. Mingyu stayed there and took another sip of his coffee. Long and slow. His tongue burnt but not because the heat on the coffee, it came from inside and it burn down his throat as if he was been cut, then there was the taste of blood inside his mouth. The metallic taste filling his cavity. Mingyu walked towards the door, he walked, his feet feeling heavy at every step until he could no longer sustain himself. The mug fell into the floor. The sound that made felt like a distant dry scream. The coffee got into his jeans but he tried to keep walking. He put all his strength into pushing the door and he felt like it was a 100 pound rock, barely moving it but enough to get into the other side before falling, hitting the floor, not even able to move to protect his face, he fell limply and dry, hitting his head. He saw Wonwoo sitting on the couch not even turning to see him, staring at the empty wall in front of him but he heard him say “Goodbye my love.” as he lost his consciousness.

Thirty minutes passed before Wonwoo finished his cup and when he was done, he placed the cup on the coffee table and turned to see Mingyu. Gone for good. He had a dirty spot in his forehead form when he hit the floor. He crouched to take a better look of Mingyu’s face. Wonwoo caressed his cheek, warm and soft.

“This might be out end,” Wonwoo sad softly moving his hands towards Mingyu’s lips. “Look at what you made me do,” he said softly. “But I guess you’ll never know…”

**Author's Note:**

> I want to make a game and give someone a fanfic, you choose the prompt and the couple but you have to guess who Mingyu was seeing. You can give me the answer here or privately on my twitter ShadowFairyWW also I would be greatful if you can tell me what you think of this story or if there was something missing. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this bit Iwrote to break my writer's block.
> 
> This work is unbetaed so I-m not sure how many grammar mistakes I have. Forgive me.


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